In class the other night one of the students was talking (and joking) about punishing herself like Silas does in The Da Vinci Code. As much as we all laughed along, that feeling is still real – that of punishing yourself if you can’t get a move. I know we all have felt that we are useless at one point or another to varying degrees, and we need to stop it. Right now.
I can try a move over the space of a few minutes and be initially over joyed that I’m making progress on a move, and the next time I try I feel like I’m never going to get it and want to give up. No matter what level you’re at, we can all feel the same negativity – so let’s stay positive.
Don’t Judge Yourself On Other People’s Achievements
I know it’s difficult when you’re in class and look around to see that everyone can do this new move – apart from you. Well firstly, most of the people in that room are thinking the same. You see how well others are doing, but can’t see the same in yourself. Have a think about your first pole class – you had never had a swing around a pole and had no idea how you would get on. It’s likely that you can now do those moves with ease. It’s difficult to remember how hard you initially found moves – especially when you can now do them! You have come far, so remember that!
When you look around in class you may make assumptions about others based on how they look. You may think someone looks super strong or flexible and you might be right. You just don’t know how they got there. Some people may have done gymnastics from a young age and are used to holding up their body weight. I’ve had people who ride horses or walk dogs and are strong because of that. You might have done more already than you think to become strong for pole – and if you haven’t, it doesn’t matter. Poling will get you nice and strong. Imagine if you had been doing the splits everyday since you were 5 – you would find splits easy now. I wish I had started pole when I was younger or carried on gymnastics into my teenage years, but for one reason or another I didn’t. So yes, I get jealous of people who are super bendy but sitting at home watching their videos won’t help me get bendy – unless I’m doing the splits while watching 😉
Your Instructor Will Make It Look Easy
If you have a good instructor, each move they teach will look easy. It might look painful or tricky but they should make it look effortless. Imagine if they didn’t! If your instructor made everything look difficult you might not learn much for them!
I always hear people say that their moves never look as good as mine… the thing is that I’ve had 8 years to make some of these moves look good, and this is probably their first try! I wish I had filmed my first few attempts at some of these moves. I had no strength or flexibility and I struggled a lot. I am getting there now because I want to! I struggled with pretty much every move and there were many times I felt disheartened at not being able to do a move.
I’m so glad I powered through. If you could do every move you tried first time, what would be the point? We need to go through the process of nailing these moves and getting strong for them. It took me years to get my handspring. I never thought I would ever be able to do a Shoulder Mount and now I love it. I attempted my Cross Knee Release for weeks and weeks and hopped around the pole while failing miserably to do a Chair Spin. I was determined. And if I can get through and nail these, so can you. Yes it can take time and dedication, but if you keep going, you will get there.
Think back to your first pole class and how far you’ve come since then. Remember all the moves that you struggled with, and the moment you nailed each of them. And of course, let’s remember how awesome you are! Happy poling! 😀
Last week in class the new students to the level were learning a new move (including myself). I found this one extra scary which doesn’t happen often. Hard yes, but not scary. After working on it with many spots, as a group we all tried it by ourselves. I hit the point of no return but also didn’t want to continue. I gave out a little (or big) wimper, and our teacher came to my aid. As soon as I was safely on the floor I look over to see one of the other girls stuck with one hand on the floor (and where it shouldn’t be). Our teacher had gone straight to her aid aswell. After class the group talks while getting changed. This other girl goes on to say she feels syupid and hopeless as she seemed to be the only onr who didn’t get the trick. Umm, did you miss my embarrassing whimper. She had and I hope she felt better knowing that we both got majorly stuck that day.
But it just goes to show, that only seeing your own faults is completely true. Don’t compare yourself to others.